Another week in the books and no boo boo to spoil the party. Now that's how you start a blog post! Where's my muscle emoji when I need it?
I went to Taekwondo on Tuesday and we did a 6.2km run at the beginning. I tried to stay on top of the leaderboard as the fastest of the group, but the instructor's son put on his 6'5" long legs and left me in his dust, after I beat him the week before. I ran like a maniac though, finishing the run in 34min 40sec, a 45 sec improvement over the previous run, but with the HR in the red, average 181. I pretty much do a speed workout every night I run there, reason why I try to limit the runs to 2 a week so I don't kill my legs, especially since I had little choice over the days I went training and they ended being back to back. Not good.
The next day I ran again, but thankfully only 4.5km. Then we worked on some sparring techniques - lots of high kicks. Not sure what was easier for the ribs - the power kicks we did the day before or the combination kicks during sparring training. But I managed just fine, despite training with the black belts as they prepare for the ITF Taekwondo World Championships. Speaking of which... this is what ITF Taekwondo looks like.
I still take painkillers at night because sleeping on the injured side is hard and I don't get my beauty sleep that helps me function like a human. Hopeful that by the end of the month the bruised ribs will be just a distant memory.
Thursday was OWS night at Professor's Like. A beauty of a swim... so different from the Sunday before. The lake was like glass, although on the chilly side. I helped a new member swim two loops, so it was full of zen. Bubbles bubbles breathe... Look, a pretty cloud and the sky is so blue! Where is that buoy again? I just got lost in my thoughts... as usual. I love open water swimming! Too bad I didn't give any of this love to the pool over the winter, but that's ok. I am not going to break any records this season anyway.
The week went by very fast and with the arrival of the weekend, the apprehension of the longest ride of the year, on the hottest day so far. My friend Sam from "Breaking my Runners In" is training for Muskoka 70.3 and she wanted to do a hilly 100km workout. Crazy as I am, I said yes to joining in the fun pain. Emma made us a route starting from Burlington, complete with a donut stop, 1000m of elevation and only 39 turns. I had to wonder if Emma was PMSing or something, because it delivered! I didn't count all the hills, but the motto quickly became "it ain't over till it's over". The meanest one was strategically placed at km 85, and the last one was just 500m before the finish. Thanks Emma!! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
Don't be fooled by our smiles, this was after 45km ONLY.
TRS Team photo! (suck the belly in)
I think we climbed that thing in the back
The route was really beautiful though and it had a few awesome downhills too, good enough for some Strava PRs. I drank 4 bottles of water, 2 of Gatorade, had 2 gels and a fruit bar, plus a butter tart. I managed my nutrition pretty well for the conditions, just like in the good ol' days when workouts like these were the routine. The only thing missing were the salty balls, haha.
Oh wait... here they are.
Sorry, not sorry.
We met with them boys just before the donut/butter tarts stop. Hubby is on the left. These guys were out for 170km in preparation for Ironman Mt Tremblant. They still had 100km left when we met them, and again... don't get fooled by the smiles. The sweaty and delirious ones at the end of the ride are just below.
I went back home and prepared lunch for the boys, then waited for hubbs to arrive from his own epic adventure. We barely had 1h to rest, then went out to one of TFC's soccer matches since we have a few season tickets. For once TFC won, against LA Galaxy nonetheless.
If we look a little pooped, it's totally normal. It was only after we got a cold drink in the shade that we perked up a little. We even compared tan lines. I definitely win.
He may have a nice caramel color, but I am a real cyclist.
The next morning I slept in. Oh, what a glorious sleep. Our cat didn't even bother me, but of course... Zin woke up early again, this time to run 28km (and it distracted the cat away from the bedroom). It sucks to be Ironman in training sometimes.
Another scorcher of a day, but I spent most of it inside, until I went out for another open water swim that is. This time, direction the Quarry where our friend Mellen joined us for some quality "mermaiding". Aren't we pretty?
Another season first, and a 2200m swim that woke up my ribs by the end. Little by little I am getting there... Not ready to do long triathlons any time soon, but I can do some long swims and bike rides, and survive short, fast runs.
Little did I know, the ride I did yesterday was a blessing. Just today I was asked to replace someone at Muskoka 70.3 for the bike segment of a relay and I said yes!! I was really bummed last year when I didn't get to play on that course, but this year I am taking every opportunity as a chance to remind myself that I am not completely broken and I can still do things. I may only ride my bike every 3 weeks, but at this point I know that I can survive the Muskoka hills. It won't be my fastest time on that course since I lost a lot of fitness (and packed on 10 pounds), but I plan on having as much fun as I can while keeping the #rubbersidedown. Since hubby is doing the race as well, I am going to have triple the fun: racing, catching people and cheering my friends across the finish line. Now that's going to be awesome. Stay tuned... first race of the season is next Saturday!
If you read my Wasaga Beach Olympic Tri race report, you know in what shape I left for Huntsville. In two words: not pretty. Tired, stinky, hungry, thirsty, and eager to take a shower and relax a little. The drive to Muskoka was quiet and introspective and I reached the destination shortly before 5pm, just as the skies opened up and cleared the muggy air. I joined my friend Wendy at the Super 8 Hotel in Huntsville where we shared a room for the weekend. She was going to race in the Ironman, along with 12 other of my friends and members of the FMCT club, and I was going to be her sherpa and volunteer at the event.
After I settled into our room and took a well needed shower, Wendy and I went to Boston Pizza for dinner and indulged in a healthy meal (salmon, steamed vegetables), and finished with a not so healthy chocolate explosion cake that we shared. Given that I had skipped lunch, I didn't even flinch. Down in ma' belly, decadent calories! We called it a night pretty early afterwards, as the alarm clock was set for 4am.
I slept pretty well myself - but of course, I was completely exhausted and I had no race anxiety to keep me up all night. When the alarm clock went off, I was almost anticipating it. I had no issues waking up and I was ready to go go go, and so excited to see my friends taking on The Beast.
I ate a peanut butter and jelly bagel, while Wendy ate her honey nut cheerios, then we were on our way. I wasn't very hungry, but I made sure to take a lot of snacks with me to have enough to eat until midnight. On site, I waited for Wendy to get her bike ready, then we went inside for a potty break and that's when I noticed that she didn't have her chip on her ankle. I rang the panic bell and together we started running around, asking the volunteers where the Sportstats tent was. To our surprise, there was no Sportstats tent near transition, but I knew from Ironman Mt. Tremblant that they should have chips at the swim start. However, we could not afford to waste too much time going back and forth from the beach to transition with just under 30 minutes to start. After asking half a dozen people, eventually we found a volunteer captain who had the idea of calling Nick Stoehr, the race director (or maybe it was Rich Trenholm), and he confirmed that they had spare timing chips at the swim start. Phew! All we had to do was to run there and hope for the best.
We said our goodbyes on the parking lot near the beach, I took Wendy's flip flops, then I joined the spectators' side with the plan of going as close as possible to the mass of athletes and check on Wendy to make sure that she found a chip. There were lots of athletes and finding friends in the sea of green and pink caps wasn't easy. I managed to see Amanda (from our club) and Kim (from Two Years to Kona), but the music was loud and all my screaming didn't help. I was desperately trying to find my bestie Carol, but to no avail. Big sad face, as I had promised her that I'd give her a big hug before the start.
While I was looking for both of them, Wendy found herself a chip. You can see her picking it up at 20:30 in the live stream video from the swim start (Won with One red top).
I didn't know this until later when I finally saw her walking towards the start. As for Carol, I missed her when she walked just in front of me. But she was in the middle of a group of very tall guys, so I'm not surprised. There she is at the bottom of the screen beside the guy with TEAM on his wetsuit, and I am against the railing near the speaker with my Ironman backpack (30:05).
I saw Wendy just a minute later and I was super stoked to see that the chip situation was under control. You can see me again with my hands in the air calling her at 30:54 (I had no idea that I was on camera). After all athletes entered the water I was somewhat relieved and went to ask whether Wendy's chip remained the same and if I could track her online. I was reassured that her chip has been paired with her bib and that after the swim it will appear in the results. Okay then, that sounded rather promising. And on that note, I walked over to the swim finish.
It was a cool and overcast morning and the temperatures were forecasted in the mid 20s C. Just perfect for racing! I thought about the IMMT athletes and how much they suffered in the heat and told myself that people at IM Muskoka were much luckier, especially while dealing with this grueling course. The flatter part of the race though, the swim in Peninsula Lake, was looking like it was going to be fast. The water was like glass and not even The Beast, that was hiding at the swim exit was going to disturb it. (Who put that thing there?? So fitting.)
Just as I thought, the first athletes started coming out the water around the 54min mark. I saw many of the people I knew finishing the swim and I was so happy to finally see Carol, that I started screaming like an idiot. I ran up after her to give her a hug, which I managed to do just before she hopped on her bike. Then I came back to wait for Wendy and once she came out of the water, I followed her back up. Who said spectating wasn't a sport? It wasn't even 9am and I was spent. She went in transition to her bike, but not before having a swarm of volunteers coming to cover her in sunscreen. I found the scene absolutely hilarious and I could not resist but taking a snapshot.
The Sunscreen team in action
I chose to stay around Deerhurst for the remainder of the day. I waited until everyone else I knew got on the bike, then I went to check out the Ironman store. So much M-Dot swag, my eyes started to bleed. I did buy my husband an IM Muskoka 70.3 backpack because I lost his string bag from a few years ago when we did our first 70.3 there, then I went to sit down and rest for a bit before deciding what to do with my free time. While I was hooked to a plug, charging my phone, I chatted with Paolina Allan from Ignition Fitness about Kim and her spectacular swim, then Paul from my tri club joined me after arriving at the resort for his bike handler volunteer job.
Look who I found in transition! The fantastic Captain Tracy.
Paul and I went to look for the volunteers' tent and we were lucky to find breakfast being served. I had a muffin and a juice, then went back to transition to find the bike handler team captain. It took me about 30 seconds to decide to take on a second volunteer shift that day. I had done bike handling at IMMT and this team looked like they could use some help. We spent the next 1.5h talking about catching bikes, running with bikes, putting bikes on the rack, what to ask the athletes, what to do with the numbers on the rack, with the bike computers, their nutrition, their shoes, where to line up to hand over the bikes, which side athletes were dismounting most on, etc. I quickly realized that this team had very different instructions/opinions than the team at IMMT, so it took me a moment to re-adjust my thinking. It's hard not to judge, knowing that this was a first Ironman for this team, while IMMT had it going on for a few years and it was a well oiled machine. But I gave up on my (strong) opinions and let the captain run the show as he thought was best. Sometimes you just have to trust the people and the process, even if they are different. And guess what? It all worked out very well in the end. Given that this race had 1200 less athletes than IMMT, the stream of bikes was spaced enough that we weren't rushed and we didn't even have to use the spare rack.
Paul showing everyone how it's done
I spent most of the day running with the bikes, leaving the catching to the most eager folks in the team. In the end, while it was a hard job because I had to walk/run a lot, it was also a lot of fun. It allowed me to see all my friends coming in with their bikes, and give them hugs, encouragements, high fives, or just play the paparazzi by taking photos and videos for their friends and family.
Around 5pm I asked to be excused since I was getting tired and I really wanted a little break before starting the next shift. I went inside Deerhurst and noticed that they had dinner food for the athletes and volunteers, but I didn't have a wristband that would give me access to it. Since I joined the bike handlers team impromptu, I was only given a tshirt, but no wristband - so I went over to the finish line where I checked in with Kari and got my wristband. Now I was legit and I could eat. Not even 5 minutes later the same wristband was being cut and I could put some food into my plate. I took a sub, pasta salad, an apple and another banana. I ate the pasta and the fruits and decided to keep the sub for later. I charged my phone again for a bit and spent about 30 minutes catching up on social media, lounging on one of the fancy chairs inside the building.
However the clock was ticking and I was missing all the action at the finish line. I put my backpack away, I said Hi to all my volunteer friends and joined in the fun. It took me a few minutes to understand how this finish line was working and oops, I must have jumped the line before the other volunteers a few times until Dorothy kindly reminded me that I should line up like everybody else. I looked around me and that's when I realized how many of us were there. Whoa, quite the blue and red army!
I was quickly made aware of the rest of the rules (no swearing! - cameras were on us), the Tough Toonie bibs and medal, and the chip strap that people could keep if they wanted to. The rest was just about the same as I knew it. Catch people, make sure they don't collapse, and if they do, use the wheelchair and call a medic. Offer as much support as needed, be it physical or emotional. Don't shy away from sweaty hugs and people crying in your arms. After all, I had done that just the day before and it wasn't even an Ironman. Slaying The Beast must have been a huge challenge and it's totally understandable that the relief of crossing the finish line makes all the bottled emotions spill over.
Personally I had promised a few friends to catch them and/or give them their medals. The first one to cross the finish line was Kim who is on her journey to qualify for Kona. She had a tough run, but she persevered and finished 3rd in her AG (read her blog report here). I could not have been more proud to catch her. I gave her the medal too, then together we took the slow walk towards the massage tent where she had her legs looked after. I don't know who took the picture above, but it's special to me and I know that I'll cherish that moment forever. I am happy to have it immortalized.
As the night fell on Deerhurst, the athletes kept coming in, tired but elated, finishing a journey that may have started months or years before. I was absolutely astounded to see so many first time Ironman finishers that came in under 12h. My mind could not comprehend how come so many of them liked the course. Out of all North American races, Muskoka is in the top 5 for toughness. Yet, people must be gluttons for punishment. Or they trained for it really well, or they were so freaking high on endorphins that they had no clue what they were talking about. Most likely a mix of all.
Our volunteers team kept everyone entertained and welcomed every finisher with a high five and a few words of congratulations. Those two above were a hoot, dancing and singing and pumping up the audience. Even the photographer played along. Nice photobomb, lol! Some friends finished the race before the night fell, others came in after dark. Carol started her run without her chip, so it was hard to track her, but eventually she made it and I felt so relieved (what's it with my friends and their timing chip)!! I gave her a long, teary hug. She is one of the crazies who chose Muskoka as their first Ironman and because of health issues I was nervous that something may have gone wrong. But she is also one of the strongest people that I know and I had no doubts that she'll want to finish no matter what. I was assisting another athlete when she crossed the line because without a chip they could not announce her arrival in advance, but I found her right after she got her medal and the moment we had at the finish line won't be going away from my memory any time soon.
Wendy came in about 1h later. Another fighter who battled injuries and a hectic training schedule the entire season. Wendy and I have known each other for a couple of years now and Ironman is what brought us together. We became training buddies and friends when we realized that we were neighbours, and I could not fathom not being there for her, just like she was for me last year at IMMT. Muskoka was her third Ironman and because of circumstances, her goal was to finish. There she is, looking awesome as usual, a big smile on her face, despite running on huge blood blisters. After giving her too a very sweaty and squeeshy hug, she left to get some food and I continued my shift. There were still 40 min left and about 50 more athletes on the course. Last athlete finished with about 3 minutes to spare and it was rather anticlimactic, since we were told that there were two more to follow, but actually none were left (because of some error).
And just like that, it was over. We watched the fireworks, said our goodbyes, Kari, Dorothy - the most amazing finish line team captains. Got a hug from Rich Thenholm, doc extraordinaire and the life of this event. I'll most likely be back next year, as both athlete (IM Muskoka 70.3 "Redemption") and IM volunteer and I know that no matter what, this place will remain a special one. One day, I may choose to measure myself against The Beast as well, but I am in no hurry - this body of mine is still on the mend.
After leaving the finish line I managed to find Wendy who was chatting with friends made on the course. I checked her bike out, then I left her with her belongings to wait for me to come back with the car from the air strip parking lot. It took me a little while to find the shuttle bus (it has been changing locations every year) and I almost got in a panic, thinking that I may have missed the last one. Thankfully I saw a bus silhouette in the distance and I ran to it just before it closed its doors. Fifteen minutes later I was back with the car and to the hotel shortly thereafter where I collapsed in my bed, happy to be able to rest and appreciate everything that happened.
I will leave you with 2 videos from the event, so you can appreciate as well the way this day unfolded for athletes, volunteers and everyone else who came to witness history being made, right here in Muskoka.
Holy macaroni, is this a real race report?! Yes it is!! It's not a volunteering, cheering or spectating report. It is true, I completed a triathlon last weekend and I cannot wait to tell you all about it. Sharing pictures though, that's something else. I was truly apprehensive to see myself in race pictures and they did not disappoint. The 10lb that I packed on since last year scream at me from the whole mid section. But now that's out of the way, let's get on with this report. Nothing I can do about the pictures and my stupid weight.
There was little mental preparation going into this race as I had no doubt that I could go the distance, but the big unknown was going to be the run. Before the race, the longest I had run without knee pain was about 4km at the simulation day. However, going even that far after a 40km bike gave me hope that if I stick with my physio program and continue believing that I WILL get better, maybe that would become true eventually. I had zero expectations with regards to finishing times, no podium goals, not even a PR. I did zero speed or hill work this year, and the number of bricks completed can be counted on 3 fingers. I barely maintained my fitness through my emotional ups and downs and truly the biggest challenge has been to keep my head above water.
The morning of the race I woke up at 5:30am with the plan of leaving the house before 7am. I showered, had a big breakfast (as usual) and made sure I packed a banana with me because that's the only pre-race ritual that can mess up with my mojo big time. I also took a gel to eat on the bike and some Gu Chomps in case I needed them on the run.
Zin drove me to Pittock Conservation Area and as soon as I got on site I ran into Ken, Dana and Phaedra. We all lined up to pick up our race kits and managed to keep the nerves at bay by sharing last minute tips and posing for pics. Here are a few of them that Zin turned into a GIF. I like this version much better than the individual ones. Did you spot the chocolate milk ad placement? Haha!!
Then before I knew it, I had to go in transition and set up my stuff. Phaedra found me a spot just beside her and I felt special racking beside a champion.
I also ran into Dave Jenkin, my old coach who moved to Woodstock and started the Woodstock Triathlon Club there. It was great to see him again. I thought it would be cool to take a picture together just like we did last year. We gotta keep the tradition going!
Soon enough it was time to go. I went in the water for a short warm up and I was pleasantly surprised by its temperature. Just perfect, although a little choppy for my liking. I also think the water was slightly warmer than the air temperature, and I was still on the fence about racing in my tri top or add a cycling jersey on top.
I left in the second wave, the yellow caps. I got into a groove pretty quickly and despite being swum over a few times, I only swallowed a minimal amount of water. Yay me, because given the amount of goose poop I walked in along the shore, I was a little worried. Not very surprising, I had the slowest swim ever. I came out of the water in 17min and change, but the disappointment only lasted a second. I was a little too dizzy coming back into transition to worry about paces.
The long run out made things even worse as it elevated my heart rate through the roof and left me wondering how in hell I was going to bring it down so I can breathe normally again. To add insult to the injury, the bike out was up a hill, then I had to face a head wind for a third of the ride at least.
I didn't have to say a lot of "on your left" this time around, as I kept being passed over and over again. I only remember 2 girls in particular because we started and finished the ride very close to each other. The first one was in my AG and she passed me within the first 100m of the run and the second one was a 17yr old, whom I kept passing on the downhills, and she would pass me back on the uphills. She also took off on the run and I never saw her again.
I ate a gel about half way on the ride and drank a little from my water bottle. For once I was glad that I didn't have to pee on my bike as I was working hard to keep up the pace. No distractions allowed! Overall, it felt like a lot of work and not much fun. You really don't have time to smell the roses in a sprint triathlon.
Compared with last year, it took me exactly 3 extra minutes to complete the bike for a total of 43:30min. The HR was exactly the same, an average of 170bpm. It definitely showed how much power I lost on the bike, but I am not going to mourn it forever... it will come back if I put the work into it. Anyway, I consider myself lucky for having had a perfect ride once more, without physical or technical issues of any kind.
Coming back in transition, I put on my socks and running shoes, grabbed my gels and off I went again. The way out of transition is along a wooden path on grass/dirt, then it changes to gravel, then concrete over the dam, then dirt again. Quite the mix of surfaces I should say. Here is what it looks like within the first 200m.
I am posting this picture because I'll have to come back to it in a few minutes. But until then... let's keep running. Again, I felt pretty slow and sluggish, but I remained concentrated on the job at hand.. er, feet. Looks intense, doesn't it. That Imraan guy sure doesn't like it that he's getting chicked.
I did my best not to blow up, but I still ended with a stitch after 3km. I didn't want to stop, so I pushed through, mentally tricking myself into believing that a downhill was going to magically appear and take away the pain. But more realistically, the trick of hitting the ground with the opposite leg on an exhale was going to yield better results, so I tried to concentrate on doing just that.
Maybe the stitch went away in the last 300m, or maybe I don't remember that pain, but soon thereafter I remember falling on my face on that lovely wooden path that I shared with you earlier. Just before turning into the finish chute, I tripped on a root and flew a few feet ahead in a very dramatic display of grace and agility akin to that of an elephant on skates.
I picked myself right up, dusted off and kept running. I knew that I was going to have a nice rash on my left arm and leg, but those were going to be my only battle scars that day.
I'll take a rash over knee pain any day!! Alas the photographer did not get a picture of me with my arms up in victory, but the sentiment was there. I finished my first triathlon of the year, and despite being the slowest ever, it was a huge WIN for me. No pain in my legs, and this, my friends, is the sweetest gift at all. The gift of running with a smile on my face and achieving a goal that I didn't think I'd be able to reach again. Not much else is left to say. I will just sit here inside my little bubble of bliss and allow myself to hope that a pain free racing season may be possible after all.
I'll leave you with a photograph of Phaedra and I while we were waiting for the awards. This amazing lady took the win (again!) and because she's such a great friend, I stayed around to add my cheers to those of the crowd. Any time I can share a race with her, I feel completely spoiled.
And that's a wrap! Next race, IM Muskoka 70.3 where I'll be racing as part of a relay team (I changed my registration because it was not a good idea to do it all by myself and undertrained). Look us up as team "Beets and Pickles". I'll be swimming, Ken (first picture) will be biking, and Robin will be running. This is going to be FUN!! By the way, Ken finished his first ever triathlon in Woodstock (and he kicked ass!!) and Robin will take part in her first ever triathlon in Muskoka, after completing a 100 miles (!!!) trail race last month. Go read her blog, you'll be inspired.
Every time I come out of a crisis, I feel completely lost about how and what to write here. Should I talk about it, should I just brush over the subject, or completely ignore it? IT. The monster living inside my head that takes over my thoughts and chews my brain, inch by inch until it feels about to explode. It's hard to explain if you've never been inside my brain. It hurts, a lot. It hurts my head, it hurts my body, it's rather unbearable the way I feel trapped inside a very tiny room with white walls. I can only make one step in each direction before I start to panic, over ventilating, heart beating out of my chest, in full panic mode. There is no way out, the pressure on my chest, the claustrophobic feeling triggered by the overwhelming amount of thoughts that keep bouncing inside my head. Many times I think there is no way out. It's just a matter of when I am going to lose the fight.
I start folding the laundry. It keeps my hands busy. It keeps me in a state of usefulness. The 3 baskets of clothes have been waiting for me for 2 weeks, but I ignored them. With more clothes added to the pile, the less adequate I feel for the task at hand. I manage to put away 1 basket and a half. But one hour from now, another one will take its place. It always feels like a sisyphean task. And predictably enough, I start crying again. Two hours of crying is quite a workout. Some days, it's all I can do for my family as I leave most of my energy at the office. I live in a constant state of mental drain. If it makes sense, I dream of a brain battery that I can recharge on the spot, like a robot.
Physically, there is a long way to being active to the point where I don't hate myself. I usually feel active enough to work out, but looking in the mirror is always hard. I miss the days when I had the energy to move mountains and I was not broken both mentally and physically. The month so far has been like a long walk through a swamp. Not only I did a lot of physio workouts, but those didn't get me outside of the house enough. This week I tried putting a little spin on my workdays so to speak, by biking to work and back. I've always been fearful of the drivers in my city, they are rather... intense. I made it 2 days back and forth and I didn't die. Now that was surprising. Each ride took just a little under 30min, and overall I enjoyed them. Which means that for the first time in a long time, I biked 3 times this week. And I smiled every single time.
It gives me hope to see these smiles. If I can be outside, if I can focus on things that bring me joy, I feel safe. I may be the least safe on the road, dodging cars and potholes, but being alone with my thoughts is certainly more dangerous.
I also had company this weekend. My friend Carol spent 2 days at my place with her boyfriend. She is training for the mighty Ironman Muskoka and she went on her longest ride ever yesterday with my hubbs and 2 other friends of ours. I couldn't go because I'm not fit to ride over 100km and I already go against my doctor's orders every weekend with the rides that I lead for my tri club. This picture that we took just after a long and gorgeous descent today, reminded me of our best times on the road, training for our first 70.3, two years ago.
In two weeks from now we'll be returning to Muskoka for a training weekend with the club, but once again I won't be allowed to ride long. I'll have to find a lot of mental tricks to stay present. Ideas are welcome... At least my boys will be with me and maybe they will be willing to spend some quality time with their mom instead of staring into their phones.
This post is bouncing all over the place and I'm not sure where to go from here. So maybe I'll just talk about today. It was our club's first race simulation day event, where we swam, biked and ran, just like in a race. We even had transition racks hand made by Zin.
With 16 people in attendance, it sure was a very successful event. We swam in circles for a while, simulating open water swimming, and that was a lot of fun.
Then we went on the bike ride and I chose to lead the 40km group. Other people, more speedy than me chose to go on their own, others did the 55km loop or the 20km one. To each their goals. I have no goals other than staying outside of the dark corners of my brain.
I found the same uphills and downhills that I've been enjoying in the past few years, but traveling across these roads is always a new adventure. You never know what your legs are capable of. Today, it took mine more than 20km to go from wet noodles to pistons. I made it back with a big grin on my face, then I finished with a run. My longest run this year, 5km, wow. It took me 34min, between walking up the hills, taking pictures of other runners in the group and stopping to smell the lilacs.
My knees started to hurt at 4km, but I ran/walked the last km and made it back in transition where I scarfed down a few pieces of watermelon because it was the best ever. Then I went home, ordered food for lunch and collapsed in the couch with a beer. I am hoping that it refueled me enough to reach the end of another week without banging my head against (invisible) walls.
And since this is a long weekend, tomorrow I'll be riding with friends again, but this time from Burlington. I love me a slice of Escarpement, but I may not be able to keep up with Emma, who just finished the 8 Days in California Trainer Road Challenge. Read all about it here. She has become a beast on the bike... but maybe, just maybe she will be tired enough so we can chat in between hills.
What else? I don't feel like going into too many details of the last weeks worth of workouts. I reached 7h of workouts/week, with the help of bike commutes and picking the garbage on the side of the road at the semi-annual Adopt-a-Road club event. The physio focus is still there, but not as intense. I forget to stretch throughout the day, but I foam roll more often than before. I have made great progress in strength and agility and the physiotherapist seems rather happy with me, but I haven't seen a major difference in my knee pain just yet. Trying to stay patient. And remember to stretch. If you feel inclined to see how I filled in my weeks, here's a Training Peaks snapshot.
As for the state of my mind, one day at a time... it's all I can do. I know that most of you, for not knowing my past, assume that I am still dealing with the Ironman blues, or that I got depressed for not being able to run, or because I am not losing weight, or some other vain trait. Before I end this post, I wanted to tell you that this isn't the case. Why do I feel the need to justify myself? Because of articles like these which are hard to avoid nowadays. You see a lot of smiles on this blog, but I have plenty of pictures crying as well. The smiling pictures help me go back to those moments of joy. The sad ones have their purpose too, but I don't feel like bringing other people down with publishing them. I have been depressed for over a decade. Running and exercise just helps me cope with it. For the rest, there is no magic wand or snapping out of it. IT just is.
I have been staring at this white screen way too many times in the past month, wondering what I could write about. Last time I wrote it was all about doing more of what made me happy. And I did follow suit, however these opportunities were far and in between. There is a sort of lassitude that is slowly creeping in. The less I work out, the less I am motivated to do it, kind of -
"without running, what's the point?". I know it's silly, but I am slowly losing the passion, the fire that ignites my willpower. Without races on the horizon, without a coach, without a plan, it's easy to fall back into the couch potato routine.
Pretty sure I was about to cry. Thank God for that Larabar.
I managed to drag my sorry ass out for a swim every week, hot yoga once a week and a bike ride or two every week, mostly outdoors. However, I've only tried running once for 15 minutes, and that was rather uneventful. Another reason for this decrease in activity has been because I've started working with a new physio therapist and I was told to stay put. Everything has to be "easy" and no runs longer than 20 min for now. But I am very busy taking care of my hips and glutes. All physio work is targeted towards strengthening these areas, so I've been trying to be a good student and fit in as many exercises as he prescribed.
I went to see this guy, who was recommended to me by half a dozen people for being the best at fixing wonky knees and shredded IT bands. I could not afford going last year because I had maxed my physio budget before my IT bands decided to go on strike. But as the new year started, I made it a mission to have a gait analysis done and find out what it would take to fix my legs so I can return to running. His practice is just 5 min away from my office, so that worked out perfectly. The good news is that I run well and he had nothing to say about my gait. He said things like "natural ability", "great posture", "talent" blah blah blah. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. But anyway, then he went on giving me the not so nice picture about my strength. "You are nowhere near as strong as you should be for doing the kind of distances that you chose". Or rather, I am not strong in the places that I should be, like hips and glutes. I've heard this one before... But only now I've been given extremely specific exercises that target precisely those areas. And gosh, he has me working hard.
He said that if I were to do just sprint triathlons or run 5Ks, he would have just told me to go home and not bother, but since I made him understand that running long distances is important to me, he is committed to seeing me returning to doing what I love. And he wants to follow me throughout the entire season to make sure I keep on doing things right. Not once he tried to sway me away from doing long distances or to tell me that I am destroying my body, like many other therapists said before. He isn't Lisa Bentley's PT for nothing. I really liked the guy. He also took time to explain every single exercise and how it affected my body. He puts a lot of emphasis on doing all exercises with such focus and purpose, it's almost intimidating when you think about engaging all these muscles during a single stretch or exercise. Like the bridges below. Try doing them on your heels, tilting your pelvis, squeezing your butt and the legs to keep them close to each other. And don't forget to breathe. Ouch.
He has me on a 40% mobility, 40% stability and 20% strength routine. I don't have the video to share with you, but when I run, my knees collapse inwards and good running technique can only take me that far before knees and hips start complaining. It's all normal since I sit at least 10h a day and then I add more sitting on the bike. So now I have to get up every hour and stretch my hip flexors and IT bands. I have to do a variation of the "couch stretch", by using my desk, with a good posterior pelvic tilt and glute recruitment, at least 5-6 times a day. At home, I get to do daily bridges and work with bands, and a thousand jumps and core stuff. Here's what this week's torture session looked like:
10 x bridges 10 sec on/off
10 x bridges with leg and arms lift 10 sec on/off
5 x 5 lateral steps each direction with 2 bands
12 cross leg stretch on step and opposite side lunge, each leg
5 x 10 basic stance hops
5 x 10 left leg runner forward stance hops
5 x 10 right leg runner forward stance hops
5 x 10 forward/backward hops
5 x 10 forward/backward hops with open/close stance
10 cross step and side lunge with bands, each direction
10 x 10 sec low plank with arms on bosu ball
5 x 10 sec side plank with leg lift each side
Band Level Up! Twice the bands, twice the resistance.
Sweat makes perfect
Can you guess how sore I am? These exercises make me grunt and sweat with each step! But after 2 weeks of work, the PT seems to be happy with my progress, so fingers crossed that I'm on schedule for his 6-8 week prediction of seeing real improvement (aka no more pain while running).
What else can I share? Maybe a little more of that stuff that makes me happy? It may not have been all unicorns and rainbows, all the time, but sure it did the trick, at least for a while.
Warm enough to wear my new Coeur bike jersey
Riding my bike with hubbs
Channelling my inner cycling diva before falling on my face (true story)
I knew I could turn the gloom around. Now that was a beautiful day worth reminiscing. Just looking at these pictures makes me smile!!
What else did I do that made me happy?
First, I got my NCCP coaching certification. Yessir!! I am supposed to sound legit and shit when I talk triathlon now. Just don't forget to talk to your doctor before doing anything I say, mmmmkay? Not that I plan on giving up my day job for becoming a coach any time soon... But at least I keep my mind entertained with knowledge since I cannot keep my body busy with practice.
Second, I managed to renew my Hot Yoga pass! For cheap. And I'm not even a Goodlife member. Don't ask me how I did it, as it may, or may not have required a pig tail and the blood of a virgin.
Last but not least, I met a bunch of friends and we had dinners and fun together. Friends make everything better!! Here is Phaedra and I eating ALL THE SUSHI and chatting up a storm. I love this girl!
Okay, I think that's enough smiles and good news to redeem this post. What say you? Here I click Publish.
