I even have tinted goggles and a watch that counts laps (not very well, alas) and a coordinated silicon cap from GO Sport (which I had for the past 15 years). Don't you dare to say that I'm an amateur (even if I am - dammit, did I say that out loud?).
But just watch this space - I just shed 8 (eight!!) minutes off my time at Professor's Lake last night, swimming 2.3km in 47 minutes. Just watch, I'm growing skin between my toes and scales on my back.